We need each other. When we understand this & act from this place we will create communities where everyone is valued.
I am not a person that blogs about every detail of my life. That is not who I am. While I consider myself open I am not one that shares the gory details. No pics of my kids or family…no deep post about my personal relationships or lack there of.
This is not that kind of blog… and honestly I am not that girl.
Yesterday a young kid made some bad choices.
He got drunk and high with friends…and then he got behind a wheel of a car. He then proceeded to speed around a blind curve, lose control of his vehicle and cross into the other lane of traffic.
He hit my car head on at full speed. I am OK. I am sore but not a scratch. He was lucky as well… he walked away.
This post is not about the accident.
It’s a testament to a community of strangers who took care of me. Not one person in that group had my skin tone nor my hair texture, but they cared for me as if I were one of them. They brought me water and chairs. They laid loving touches upon my body. They prayed over me. One by one they came to me to tell me how sorry they were. They came to tell me how happy they were that I was OK. All total strangers.
They were angels and they ministered to me in a way that was holy and sacred. I will be forever grateful.
This is why I do the work I do. This is why community is so important to our future. Building community and loving one another is what will save us. It makes us stronger.
The police took this young man in to custody. I have a kid close to his age and as a parent you pray that your kid makes good choices. You know that sometimes they do not. Choices have consequences.
I am spending today talking to insurance agents, resting and reflecting on what happened. I am not focusing on what I lost… I am focusing on all that I have.
I am loved by so many people. My chest aches from my seat belt but my heart is overflowing with gratitude.
So I want to share that love with the young man who hit me. Today I will pray for him. I will send him as much Metta as I can. Loving Kindness. I ask today that each of you send him loving kindness.
May all beings be well and safe, may they be at ease.
Whatever living beings there may be, whether moving or standing still, without exception, whether large, great, middling, or small, whether tiny or substantial,
Whether seen or unseen, whether living near or far,
Born or unborn; may all beings be happy.
Let none deceive or despise another anywhere. Let none wish harm to another, in anger or in hate.”
Just as a mother would guard her child, her only child, with her own life, even so let me cultivate a boundless mind for all beings in the world.
Let me cultivate a boundless love for all beings in the world, above, below, and across, unhindered, without ill will or enmity.
Standing, walking, seated, or lying down, free from torpor, let me as far as possible fix my attention on this recollection. This, they say, is the divine life right here.
Help me send him strength and love so that he can find a new way. I want him to be happy and whole. Why you ask? Because he is a part of my community and I love him. We all fall short and we all deserve compassion. He is worthy to be loved.
{ 76 comments… read them below or add one }
Desiree, What a beautiful post. And Thank God you are ok. And so is the young man. I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face. Love and community and compassion. Thank you for sharing this. Hugs, Cheryl
Love, community and compassion… this is my wish for every human. Thanks you for all of your support, love and care. I really am humbled by all that has been shared with me.
I’m very glad indeed that you’re OK.
Michael,
Thanks so very much for your well wishes.I am so happy that we were both able to walk away and start today anew.
Thank Goodness you are ok, Desiree. And thank you for sharing your beautiful perspective on the accident. It is beautiful when a community comes together to rally around another human being. It shows how we are all connected on that basic human level. Thanks so much for sharing and take care!
We are all connected… that could have been my kid. We are all worthy of redemption and compass. Thanks for your loving healing thoughts. I appreciate them
I’m so grateful you are okay. I’m so grateful for the love that surrounded you afterwards. And I’m so grateful for the compassion you have to share with him.
I also want to say: take care of yourself. As a former paramedic, I know that traumatic incidents like this can shake you up for weeks or months, regardless of the lack of physical injury. Be gentle to yourself. Be kind. Drink water. Get exercise. You may know this already. Have the loved ones around you remind you. You may fall apart. You may not. It’s all okay.
Continued prayers for you. And gratitude.
I am thankful for your kind words and advice. I will take care of myself…and be gentle with myself for the weeks to come. I am humbled by all the love and grace shown me..and people’s willingness to share with a stranger..
So very glad you’re ok, Desiree. I must say I love your attitude and outlook.
Thanks so much. Let’s just make sure we continue to love and care for each other every chance we get.
Dearest Desiree, may you be well, blessed and whole. And may the young man who ploughed into your car be so too. My love and prayers are with you both.
I appreciate all of your prayers and healing thoughts. Thank you so very much.
I’m so so so glad you + the young man are ok. Sending extra love + care + lovingkindness that way.
Thanks for the deep beauty here.
Tears streaming. Heart open. Yesyesyes.
Let’s love one another everyday in every way possible. Thank you for building community with me.
I am so massively grateful for the angels that were watching you last night, and the engineers that installed those air bags, and those amazing German designers that made your Jetta.
I am still shaking today — I can only imagine you.
Thank you for showing that adversity serves to reinforce and strengthen your values. My heart goes out to the young man today, and I pray with all my heart that this can be a turning point for him to make better choices. You are so right — it all comes down to love.
I am so grateful for your life. I would be lost without you.
Amen.
-P
I can not even write this comment without fresh tears pouring down my face. I love you deeply and am grateful for your life and the love you offer me daily.
Desiree,
I, too, am so glad you are okay. And, that he is okay. And, that I know you.
I am touched by what unfolded, by the love that is there for you, and the love you continue to give so generously.
I share Mark’s sentiments…to also take care of you, to include yourself in your Metta practice. I will be doing so…including you, him, and all the beautiful people who cared for you, as well as all beings.
With love,
Julie
Julie, This means a lot coming from someone I respect as much as you. Today I want to pray/meditate and Be…..Then tomorrow I will get to the business of moving forward and dealing with insurance rentals…etc.
I have been hit with so much love and so many emotions….. People have been so kind to me and shown me such grace.
I am humbled. Truly humbled.
Oh Desiree, this is the first I’m hearing about it, and I am just so thankful that you are okay.
A bad thing happens, and good things came of it. That kid will hopefully get the help he needs. He gets prayed over and sent Metta. I prayed and will pray for him too.
People helped you in your time of need, because at our core, people are good. And that’s what community is about, isn’t it? It’s an opportunity to be good to one another.
Really happy that you are all right.
Bridget- I am thankful for so many things. My friends and family..and the love and kindness of total strangers. That community was good to me and I want us all to be good to each other.
Wow. I’m so sorry.
And what strange timing. Just last night – perhaps around the same time this happened – I was walking downtown to a meeting, listening to a podcast interview with a man whose daughter had been in a car driven by her boyfriend who was drunk. They had an accident and the girl was killed, but the drunk boyfriend walked away without a scratch. The father spend the next 5 years living with bitterness and anger toward the boyfriend.
It wasn’t until he could finally come to a place of forgiveness and offering blessings toward the young man that he was able to lift himself out of debilitating depression.
I’m so glad that you are way ahead of that man in terms of realizing the need for forgiveness and compassion.
I am so lucky and have been shown such grace….I wanted to share that with him. Thanks for being an incredible friend and support to me. I appreciate it.
You are an amazing woman, Desiree. I admire your heart and love. I send much lovingkindness to you and to the young man involved.
Thanks so much. We all fall short and we all deserve compassion.
Desiree, when I saw the FB update and subsequent posts from others my heart was up in my throat. You are an amazing person who I am lucky to call a friend and I am beyond happy that you are okay.
I will be sending good thoughts out to the kid who hit you. I hope this incident provides a new beginning for him.
Lori,
I love you. I so appreciate all that you share with me and the world. I want us all to love this kid..especially when he probably feels unlovable.
So very thankful you and the young man are safe. It fills my heart that you were treated with such kindness and that, in turn you wish this for the young man. I hope he meets with angels that offer the kindness and wisdom he needs.
You do not need this, love. But may everyone who hears your story or walks safely away from near loss remember the preciousness of life, treat themselves with compassion, and create a legacy of loving kindness in every precious moment. Because, what else is there?
Take good care of yourself. Your heart and soul walked away but your body may still need to catch up. <3
My body will need sometime to catch up and I will be gentle with it until it does.
Yeowza…that is no small accident Desiree.
So glad that you’re okay and that he’s okay.
Love this sentence, “Not one person in that group had my skin tone nor my hair texture, but they cared for me as if I were one of them.”
*deep sigh*
Hugs,
Teen
So relieved and heart happy that you were surrounded by angels.
That sentence had me close to tears because of the fact that it even needed to be written.
We are all “one of them.” One of each other.
Amen.
Thanks for your healing thoughts… I was “one of them”– I was human and that is enough.
So much gratitude that you’re well and unharmed and can continue spreading your wisdom and compassion in the world.
Big love to you, Des.
You are my hero with all you have gone through…..you humble me with your loving spirit.
Joining the chorus of your community in gratitude that you’re unharmed. That photo of the car made my breath catch in my throat. I’m so glad the metal took the brunt of it & not you.
Also seconding Mark’s reminder to take care of & be gentle with yourself, though I know it’s advice you already know.
Glad you’re okay, and admiring the grace demonstrated in this post.
We are all one big community and loving each other is why we are here. I am glad that we are building community and loving each other. I will take care of myself and I hope you take good care of yourself.
You are a beautiful soul. Not everyone could muster the generosity to send prayers of love and strength to a teen who made such unfortunate mistakes. Thank goodness you’re okay and thank you for sharing this.
I appreciate your well wishes and healing thoughts. We are all in this together
This is what love and healing look like. Hugs to you, Desiree.
Big hug back to you Laurie. I so appreciate your kindness. I am lucky to have people like you in my corner.
Ditto on the others’ well-wishes and gratitude. And thank the good Lord above that you’re both well.
I felt saddened by your line about skin color and hair…I know racism is alive and unwell in our society, but Good God Almighty, how tragic that that thought even has to enter your mind at a time like that…
Not that it’s my direct fault, but I feel so ashamed by the actions of my ancestors, at times…
OK–”inhale the good and exhale the bad,” as my fitness instructor is fond of saying:
It’s wonderful to come up on such a compassionate and forgiving (and popular, I must say!) person who role-models for young, impulsive people. I’ll pray for him, too:).
You’re beautiful.
Thank you so much. I want people to be gentle and kind with my kids when they make mistakes…and I want people to be gentle and kind with me when I make them. We all fall short and we all have teh ability to turn our lives around. I appreciate your kindness so very much.
dearest desiree,
i am so grateful and relieved that you are okay. yes, take it slow and easy as you already know. this post is just beautiful, pure grace. i send you the biggest hug and blessings today. xoxo
Thanks so much. I have been overwhelmed with love and blessings. I am such a lucky woman to be connected to so much beauty.
Desiree:
My heart was in my mouth as I read your blog. I am a friend of Pam’s and I think I may have spoken to you once about a woman’s building project. In any event, any friend of Pam’s is a friend of mine and I want to tell you how glad I am that you are ok. You are a very special person to extend love and prayers to the young man behind the wheel of the car and I will follow your lead and send up prayers for him as well. Thank you for reminding me of just how connected we all are.
Peace and Love to you,
Gerri
Gerri– I do remember you and your lovely daughter. Thanks so much for thinking of me and sending me healing thoughts… I so appreciate it. Lets pray that everyone has compassion and community.. they are so vital.
Sending you and him healing thoughts and love Desiree.
xo
Bev
Like everyone else, I am so moved by this post.
It’s such a lovely shining testament to grace. My profound take-away is that we often don’t choose the challenges that come to us, but we can always choose our *response* to them.
Thank you so much, Desiree, for shining the light for us.
Thank you for opening your heart and sharing this post. It is beautiful and touching and full of love and heart and profound deep love. You have shown what it means to walk and live and BE in grace.
Blessings to you sweet Desiree. I join you in sending resounding love and light to the young man in your story. I am sure the forgiveness and love you are showing him will deeply touch him forevermore.
Thanks so much for your blessings and love… I so appreciate them and accept them gratefully.
Desiree,
I read your blog today with a tear in my eye. I am very glad to hear you are ok and so is the young man. I truely hope this will be a big eye-opener for him. I think the compassion you are showing after what he has done is incredible. God bless you and he.
Thanks so much for your blessings and thoughts of compassion for all concerned.
Desiree,
My brother (Steve Harper) sent me your blog today because he thought I might be interested. I have to teenage sons. I do hope that they make good decisions, but I know that we all make mistakes. We all have guardian angels to watch us and guide us, even though we sometimes ignore the signs. That young man had a guardian angel, and her chest is hurting, but her heart is overflowing with gratitude. She is alive and willing to pray that this young man learns from his mistakes and decides to take another path. May your prayers be heard and your blessings blossom. I pray that you have a speedy recovery.
Thanks for your support. I want you to send love and compassion to this young man as if he were your child. Love him through this difficult situation and pray that he gets the lessons needed to move forward. I appreciate your healing thoughts.
Desiree, I met you at WDS (the afterparty, near that very-much-in-use ping pong table), and I was going to get in touch with you anyway to tell you how much I enjoyed meeting you. And now this.
I am SO grateful that you’re okay and that the kid who hit you is also okay, and I’m in more than a little awe of how you’re reaching out to him with such compassion and asking us to do the same. Yes, we all make mistakes…but it seems to be the default response to lash out in anger when we’re the target (intentionally or otherwise).
I pray that more of us, more of the time, and to a greater degree, will find it in themselves to react with love and compassion as you have here. Thank you for sharing this, Desiree–it’s a fantastic reminder of so many things.
I absolutely remember you and am grateful to continue our connection. I so enjoyed meeting you Portland. I am thankful and appreciative for all of your prayers and healing thoughts.
I’m grateful you weren’t injured, that the young man was also able to walk away in one piece, and for the lovely post you wrote. The grace you shared in your post demonstrates why you attracted that community of “strangers” to support you at the accident site, and why you have such a supportive community of friends, fans and acquaintances who are wishing you well.
I am so lucky that every day my life is filled with grace and I am happy to share it with others. I am so thankful to everyone fro all of their generosity and kindness. Lets love each other and mean it.
So. Grateful. You. Survived.
And so grateful for that ginormous heart of yours that can love thru it all. You are a blessing to this earth. xoxoxo
I am to sweetie and so grateful for so much love and care from generous souls like yourself. xoxoxoxo
So very glad you are o.k. and lived to tell the tale! I think many of us take each day for granted and we can’t. Thank you for showing so much grace, what an example to all of us.
I will pray that the young man gets it, realizes that this is the point where he has an opportunity to make a positive change in his life.
I am happy to be alive. happy for the opportunity to begin again. I pray that one day he will see June 21 as his birthday.. the day of his rebirth. Much love to you my friend..so glad I got to hug and break braed with you last week.
“They were angels and they ministered to me in a way that was holy and sacred. I will be forever grateful.”
Desiree, you do the same, now, for us.
I am holding loving space for you, the young man, the Divine sparkly strangers, and the torrent of compassionate goodness you’ve now released into the ethos. May it flow far and wide.
Your Divine Spark is shining brightly, dear one. Be well.
Namaste.
Thanks so much for your love and support. I gladly accept your compassion and kindness so that I will have more to offer the world. May it flow far and wide. Amen
Desiree,
This is a beautiful post. You took a frightening experience and turned it into something beautiful and loving.
My father used to have a saying: “Everyone is stupid ten seconds out of each day; if you’re lucky, you’re asleep during those ten seconds.” His theory was that the first bad choice is made in those ten seconds — once that first bad choice is made, other bad choices follow quite easily. It becomes a spiral that can lead to consequences that were never intended. This young man made the choice to drink in just ten seconds. Other bad choices followed, until he got behind the wheel.
I wish nothing but love and support for this young man. I am grateful that you are well, and so grateful that you shared this story of love, compassion and community.
Stay well.
Erica! I have been stupid way more than ten seconds a day… and if I am honest mostly when I was awake. I of course do not condone what he did but I do understand making bad choices with no idea of what the impact would be for myself and others. I want him to have a 2nd chance because I would want one for myself. I can not wish for something for my own children if I would not wish it for someone else’s child. That is what it truly means when we say it takes a village.
Desiree – I was touched by your post. You are blessed with a loving community and it shows. Take care of yourself and I will send prayers that your body heals and that this young man can find this a wake up call. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks so much for sharing . I am happy the post resonated. I always appreciate prayers and healing thoughts. I hope that both the young man and I use this as an opportunity to love, do and be better people on many levels.
You’re singing my song. God bless you.
Thanks so much for your blessing and let’s continue to sing this song
I have not added my good wishes to you in writing yet while I waited for my compassion to catch up to yours. I’m still not even close, but since you ask it I will keep working to feel, and then send, some loving kindness to the young man. Luckily, loving kindness can’t be used up because I have been sending a lot of it your way.
To be honest, it is bothersome to me to see you passing on this example of humanity – because it reminds me how much growing I still have to do. Sometimes we need to be bothered.
Andy,
How I react to the issue speaks more to my character than to his…so I have to come from a place of compassion. I have to love him even when he may not love himself… I know no other way to be. I so appreciate your anger on my behalf, but its not necessary. Let’s see this young man as one of our own children and love him through this difficult situation.
I am so SO glad you’re okay, and I hope that he is, too.
A thousand blessings.
I am so happy that I am OK as well. I continue to send prayers his way.
Thanks so much for reaching out. I appreciate it.
Desiree,
I stumbled (truly) across this blog post because I Googled ‘creating community’ looking for a simple definition to use. I am so moved by what I just read. You’ve got a whole lotta love in you! Thank you for providing a better definition than I ever expected to find and a wonderful lesson of compassion as well.
Shannon,
I do not believe there are mistakes….and I needed to write this post and participate in this event ( no matter how painful). Glad it touched you and providing a real life example of community..