We spend money we don’t have on things we don’t need to create impressions that won’t last on people we don’t care about. ~Anonymous
Did you buy the house you currently have because you felt pressure to live in a certain neighborhood?
Did you ever buy clothes or a vacation that you knew was too exspensive but you did it because you did not want people to think less of you?
Did you buy the wrong car because you felt pressure to make an impression on your brother-in-law of your old college roommate?
Have you ever spent money on items because you did not want people to think less of you?
I have.
And I felt weak and ashamed that I could not stand up for myself and admit that I just did not have the money or even worst, I did really did not want what I purchased.
A few weeks back I wrote a blog post asking when is enough really enough….how much “stuff” do we as humans really need? The other side of that coin is how much stuff do we purchase and KNOW we can do without? Know that we did not need it, but buy it nevertheless. How many things do we have in our homes that as we were purchasing them they made our stomachs flop and our mouths dry up? It’s an interesting place to be in when you are with friends or family and you first notice that you have VERY different ideas on the definition of expensive . Even more importantly that you have very different definitions of what really adds value to your lives.
It’s hard to wake up and realize that you are different. That you have very different priorities from your loved ones. Very different wants and needs.
No one wants anyone they love to think less of them. And sadly many of of us in this country equate worth with income and things. The more stuff you have the more popular you are and well liked you may be. Some where along the line money and self-esteem made some kind of unholy pact that the majority of modern society took to be true. So how did I find myself in these horrible situations?
I was not honest. I was not honest with my friends, family or myself. I did not want others to find me lacking or be disappointed in me. And honestly I was not ready to own my voice.
Trying to impress somebody is a lie. It’s inauthentic , it’s dumb and it makes me feel yucky. Why should I try so hard to get other people to like a person that isn’t really me? It makes no sense.
When you surround your self with cars, houses or clothes that do not fit with who you are, that do not reflect your authentic self then guess what happens? Your life gets filled up with things you do not need and people you do not care about.
In 6 months I will be 45. Next summer I send my youngest child off the college. I will live alone for he first time in 20 plus years.I am super excited! I am focusing on what the next 20 years of my life will look like. How will I live it, where will I live and what do I really need to be happy. The first 44 years of my life I have focused on wants and I would like to spend the next 44 focusing on needs and creating a lifestyle for myself that supports them. Personal consumerism impacts the world and impacts who I am.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
“you surround yourself with people you don’t care about” Last week someone asked me if I wished I had more friends. He was astonished that I said “no”. My circle of friends is small because those are the people who share my values; to whom I can relate. People caught up in consumerism are not in my circle. It is sometimes tough for me because that out-parcel of acquaintances includes some family. I still have my challenges too, but I am set apart from some, I think, because I am aware that my personal consumerism impacts the world and impacts who I am. I wish more people were concerned with their impact more than the impression that made.
I always love seeing your response to my post because I value your opinion and your wisdom. I am going to take your line ” I am aware that my personal consumerism impacts the world and impacts who I am” and add it to my post. Its perfect .
you’ve articulated really well so much that is so wrong with the consumption driven, ‘greed is good’ society we have created.
I find the more possessions I have the more I am possessed: “stuff” is baggage and it weighs you down. Giving things away to individuals you think might benefit from them more than you is very liberating. Austerity has assumed a negative connotation in our consumerist culture but true austerity has an intrinsic beauty to be experienced.
I agree with Katy’s comment, “giving things away to individuals you think might benefit is very liberating”. Desiree your post is spot on about the way we conduct ourselves as consumers. We have all been that person at some point in our lives but the true challenge is being able to acknowledge and be aware of our actions and their impact.
Great post Desiree!
Ariane,
You are so right..education is the key. Once we have this awareness…how we react is really what matters. letting go of ‘stuff” is hard, but so worth it!
{ 1 trackback }